Blaze Claymore (and introducing Ben Lynch) in: The Worriers

THE WORRIERS

BLAZE CLAYMORE

The “Main Event.” An outcast from SHOOT: Project, from Hollywood, and from polite society. Free on probation, he is determined to keep his feet firmly planted on the other side of life’s proverbial and literal jail cell. He seeks redemption, respect, and rest.

BEN LYNCH

Known as the Jerkass Woobie within wrestling circles. A lifetime journeyman of the squared circle. A nobody who is the hero of his family's story and the most successful person from his small Ohio town. If his name is unfamiliar then it's because it is; he's only known for being there. He has over twenty years of experience and nothing to show besides a subscription to Hotdogs and Handshakes Monthly.

***

In the 1970s, before President Ronald Regan,

a group of young actors found themselves 

cast in what would become one of the 

greatest cult classic films of all time. This is not a story of those actors' accomplishments.

This is not a story of the film’s 46th anniversary.

This is not a story of courage.

This is not even really a story.

It’s the truth (or a version of it).

***

MONTAGE: FALLOUT FROM CULTURE SHOCK. MIDNIGHT

TOKYO DOME.

An illuminated arena sits empty as janitorial staff mop up blood from the concourse. We see signs for Taco Bell, Baskin Robbins, and Tokyo Potato as, in the background, the lights in the arena begin to turn off one by one.

CUT.

KORAKUEN HALL.

Hooded figures stand in a vigil around a collapsed ring, holding candles as a red bicycle silently rolls itself into view.

CUT.

SINJUKU CITY, GOLDEN GAI.

Three figures sit perched in an izakaya leaning over hot bowls of ramen. They are wearing Russian ushankas and deep red coats.

CUT.

SUGIMANI CITY, 7-ELEVEN.

There are several dozen 7-Elevens within a short walk from anywhere along Tokyo Prefectural Road No. 4. Standing outside one of them is a nasty looking group of lucahors wearing full suits and skull masks.

CUT.

MUSHASHISAKAI STATION

Late night denizens of Tokyo wander through the station platform as a giant clock hanging from the ceiling ticks away. A man in a hoodie and matching sweatpants sways unsteadily under the clock until the rush of a train arriving can be heard in the distance. The man looks up and…

CUT. INT. EAST JAPAN RAILWAY CAR CHOU LINE.

An exhausted BLAZE CLAYMORE and BEN LYNCH, bloodied, beaten, and bruised, are leaning against two sides of the Chou line train car, trying to catch their breath as the train begins to slow down and a soft “ding” sound can be heard above before a woman in Japanese speaks over the PA. BLAZE CLAYMORE: I didn’t get any of that… did you? BEN LYNCH: Just… wait… VOICE: WE HAVE ARRIVED AT MUSHASHISAKAI STATION. FINAL DESTINATION. PLEASE EXIT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. The dinging sound can be heard again as the train comes to a full stop and the sliding doors open. BLAZE CLAYMORE: That I understand. But where the hell is Mushy Shy Guy station? How long have we been on this train? BEN LYNCH: Not long enough! I’m…. going… to… win… MANHUNT! BEN swings wildly at BLAZE who doesn’t even move, but still manages to dodge the attack as LYNCH falls to the grimy floor with a *SPLAT* BLAZE leans his head back and looks up —- his eyes locking on an ad for PRIME: Culture Shock with a sense of confusion and bemusement. He searches around at the now empty train and reaches down, extending a hand toward BEN LYNCH who swats it away, though his cheek is still pressed to the train car’s floor. BEN LYNCH: GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN PIN YOU!

With another chime, the train car doors open. BLAZE reaches down and begins to, slowly, pull BEN out onto the platform. BEN LYNCH: You can’t pin me! My legs are on the ropes! BLAZE CLAYMORE: That’s the emergency brake. Come on. BLAZE wheezes as he pulls BEN enough to where they stumble onto the platform. The two are each on their backs, exhausted as the very confused crowd scatters in fear. BLAZE CLAYMORE: I’ve seen… these movies; nothing good… happens in a train station… late at night. The last thing… I need right now… …is some gangster hoodlums to shake us down… or an Oracle convincing us to plug back into the Matrix. BEN sits up and looks confused as we see a now empty platform and the lights on the train shut off with a loud, mechanical *CLICK*.

BEN LYNCH: Unbelievable. Now how are we going to get back? They can’t end the show without us. Right?

BLAZE looks upward, wistfully off into the distance, specifically at an ad where Harrison Ford is holding a can of Japanese beer. BEN LYNCH: RIGHT!? BLAZE snaps to attention and pulls himself up, walking over toward a subway map on the wall. Despite everything being written in Japanese, Blaze traces a finger along the train lines. BLAZE CLAYMORE: Okay. Looks like we’ve got to pull a Warriors. BEN stands up fully now and joins BLAZE at the map. BEN LYNCH: You mean grab the ring ropes, shake them real hard, and then die of a heart attack? But I'm too young to die old. BLAZE CLAYMORE: No! I mean THE Warriors. From the 1970s… a movie where these gangs gather in Central Park hoping for a truce but then one of the leaders gets assassinated and all the gangs scatter and have to fight their way home. There is no telling what chaos happened between when we got on the train and now… for all we know there are rabid koalas and/or Kuroyamas running around Tokyo at this very minute. We have to protect ourselves! BLAZE turns around. CUT to a bucket with two mops sticking out of it. BLAZE walks over and snags one of the mops and then throws the other to BEN LYNCH who side steps the projectile, as it clatters to the ground. BEN LYNCH: I am not about to wonder through the streets of Tokyo brandishing a dirty subway mop. BLAZE is already rushing up the station steps. BEN looks down at the mop and sighs. SMASH CUT. TOKYO STREETS - NIGHT. The city is less busy than usual, but still buzzing as BLAZE CLAYMORE and BEN LYNCH are walking down a main throughfare holding dirty, dirty subway mops - eyes scanning from side to side - not sure who or what may be after them. BLAZE CLAYMORE: If my math is correct… we’re about 7 miles from the Tokyo Dome and it’s a straight shot down this street. So we just need to hold out for another maybe… 3 to 4 hours. A nervous, exhausted BEN LYNCH grips his mop tightly, nearly strangling it. BEN LYNCH: I think we just wait for the authorities to come find us. I’m sure Lindsay will be concerned that two of her most talented performers are missing… Silence. BLAZE CLAYMORE: Okay, so…  three hours. We can do it! We’re BLAZE and BEN - fighters in their PRIME! BEN LYNCH: How long have you been workshopping that one. BLAZE CLAYMORE (ignoring BEN): And look … the city is still pretty busy even at… whatever time it is now… so there’s no way that we’d be in any- POV SHOT.

We lose BLAZE as, through the eyes of BEN LYNCH we see two figures in skeleton masks arrive from the left, then three from the right, and, then, four approaching from the shadows several feet in front of him and Blaze.

The emerging figures are smiling. We think. It’s hard to tell from behind the masks, but they walk with the confidence of smiling men.

WIDE SHOT. AERIAL.

From above, we see a traditional pincer attack, quickly forcing BLAZE and BEN to take defensive positions.

MEDIUM SHOT.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: Don’t worry. I am sure they are just here as fans of my work. They saw where the train was headed and came to make sure I, I mean we were all right. After all, Japan is the number one importer of Blaze Claymore films…

BEN gives BLAZE the side eye.

BEN LYNCH: I’m not worried. I’m pissed off. I want to see how many points I got and these idiots are in the way!

The figures definitely understood enough of that English to begin reaching into their pockets, each pulling out a massive switchblade.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: Just stay calm. I know what they’re after.

BEN LYNCH: Yeah. They’re after us.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: Exactly.

BLAZE steps forward toward the approaching mob and reaches into his own pockets – the masked figures brandish their blades…

OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT FOLLOWING BLAZE.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: CINNABON WAH! No need to rush. I have plenty for everyone! Yes, I am as surprised as you to be here tonight, but I always make time for my fans…

BEN LYNCH puts his hands to his face in horror as BLAZE confidently strides forward. The masked figures continue to close in until finally BLAZE is face-to-mask with a person who appears to be the leader.

BLAZE bows awkwardly before extending out his arms from his pockets and throwing dozens of glossy headshot photos into the faces of the nearby mob members.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: RUN BEN, RUN!

CUT TO BEN’S REACTION. CLOSE UP.

BEN looks around and makes a split second decision to follow BLAZE THROUGH the crowd of masked, armed skeleton men.

WIDE SHOT. TRACKING.

The mob is distracted enough that BLAZE clears a path and begins to bolt down Tokyo Prefectural Road No. 4 like a man possessed. By fear. Not by ghosts.

BEN LYNCH: You son of a bitch! WARN ME next time.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: Then it wouldn’t have been a surprise!

PAN UP TO THE TOKYO SKYLINE THEN PAN BACK DOWN.

SHINJUKU CITY. NIGHT.

BLAZE AND BEN LYNCH are out of breath, having run at full speed for the last 25-30 minutes. How did they run so fast for so long? The fear of getting shanked by masked skeleton luchadors will do that.

The pair stop, trying to get their bearings as they realize this part of Tokyo is already a bit busier and less stabby than the others. At least as long as Anna Daniels isn’t hiding somewhere.

A pretty normal flow of people for midnight walks too and from the various shops on either side of them.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: I think… we may… be safe.

BEN looks up, hands on his knees, chest heaving as he sucks in oxygen and locks eyes with three figures standing up from their seats at the ramen shop just feet away.

Red outfits. Russian ushankas. Commanding presence.

BEN LYNCH: Oh no…

BLAZE looks up and sees the three figures stumbling out of the izakaya into the electrical glow of a dozen strung paper lanterns to reveal hastily-scribbled blue “Hello My Name Is” nametags that say “IVAN”, “KENNY”, and “BRYAN”.

The three figures press shoulder to shoulder - looking to command some sort of presence over BLAZE and BEN; however, the Ivan impersonator is actually several inches shorter than BLAZE.

CLOSE UP. “RED ARMY” LEADER. He is very clearly Japanese and is very clearly drunk. His ushanka keeps falling over his forehead as his friends snicker in the back.

“IVAN” (slurred): For Mother Russia!

MEDIUM SHOT. BEN and BLAZE stand inches from the “RED ARMY”

BEN LYNCH: Hey, that’s pretty good English for a “Russian” what are you doing in Japan, though?

“IVAN” throws his head back as the ushanka falls off of his head. He tries to imitate the real Ivan, but rather than a full-throated belly laugh it comes out like someone blowing on a broken whistle.

“IVAN”: DYEE HEEE HEEE HEEEE HEEEE. I know you. Ben Lynch! You disrespect the Red Army on internet!

BEN LYNCH: Oh come on now. I apologized. And, if you don’t mind, me and my … friend? Here, we need to be getting back to the Tokyo Dome.

The two other “RED ARMY” members step forward, arms crossed but wobbling on their feet. BLAZE and BEN can smell the sake on their breath.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: Whatever you do, don’t light a match near them, BEN. Their breath is nastier than Godzilla’s.

“IVAN” steps forward and shoves BLAZE.

“IVAN”: And you. Blaze Claymore. You funny man.

BLAZE pauses his response attack, confused.

“IVAN”: You man who hit in ballsack. Cry like baby.

BEN LYNCH: He’s speaking just like a mini-Ivan - it’s so cute. Tell me more about how Blaze cried like a baby.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: In a movie! In a movie, BEN!

BEN LYNCH: Which one?

BLAZE CLAYMORE: It could be so many of them!

OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT. We see the face of “IVAN” framed by the arguing BEN and BLAZE as he throws back his head once again and rather than letting out a squealing laugh he turns towards his friends and spews out undigested ramen. BLAZE and BEN stop arguing to look horrified as “IVAN” tries to turn back around, but “BRYAN” and “KENNY” in their beautiful, discount Red Army outfits slathered in pork tonkatsu both gag and vomit onto “IVAN” who tries to let out an angry “Russian” scream but just ends up vomiting all over again.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: Oh GOD this is just like in that scene from Team America: World Police!

“IVAN” screams while heaving.

“IVAN”: Not a puppet! Not a puppet!

CLOSE UP. BEN turns to the camera and winks.

WIDE SHOT. BEN and BLAZE look at each other and then slowly begin to move their way around the three “RED ARMY” members and continue on their way.

DOLLY SHOT. The camera lifts overhead, as the vomit pit continues and we watch BEN and BLAZE exit out of frame.

FADE.

EXT. KORAKUEN HALL.

FADE UP.

BEN and BLAZE stagger towards a familiar landmark as the streets of Tokyo have become more and more sparse. As they reach the perimeter of KORAKUEN HALL, BLAZE puts his hands on his waist and smiles confidently.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: It’s good to be back.

BEN laughs, clearly delirious.

BEN LYNCH: Didn’t you get pinned by like… a million guys in that arena before running away like a bitch?

BLAZE gestures wildly at KORAKUEN HALL.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: I… well… there was a LOT happening. Anna Daniels had a knife, supposedly, which was not fair and-

BLAZE is cut off by a dinging sound in the distance. But then silence.BLAZE CLAYMORE: As I was saying, then an entire roster of other fighters show up… and don’t even get me started on the-

DING. DING.

BEN LYNCH: Yes, and then…

BLAZE: Shhh. Don’t you hear that?

BEN LYNCH: I just hear your dumb face not being able to speak r-

DING. DING. DING.The sound is right on the pair now as we CUT.

CLOSE UP.

A red bicycle - a MURDERCYCLE - calmly rolls its way on screen. The shot is dramatic as loose leaflets fly in the air and we see lightning and hear thunder despite there being no forecast of storms for the Tokyo area.

The pedals of the MURDERCYCLE come to a stop as the camera does a 360 Matrix shot pivoting between BLAZE, BEN, and the BIKE, only to return to a CLOSE UP of BLAZE’S nervous face.

The MURDERCYCLE chimes its bells ominously.

BEN swallows in fear.

BEN LYNCH: How do we get past it? It’s the only thing standing between us, the Tokyo Dome, and our cars to get home.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: They gave you a CAR!?

The MURDERCYCLE chimes even more ominously.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: I think it’s asking for our identification! It wants to know it can trust us?

BEN LYNCH: I don’t think…

BLAZE CLAYMORE: AH HELL! I threw all my headshots back at those skeletons! BEN, give me your head shots instead.

BLAZE turns around and gestures to BEN who looks confused.

BEN LYNCH: I don’t carry around headshots of myself, dude. That’s just a you thing. Kinda weird, honestly.

BLAZE screams in agony and frustration. AGASTRATION. As the MURDERCYCLE begins to approach.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: Now how is it going to know who we are!?

BEN LYNCH steps forward and puts a hand on BLAZE’s chest. Not in a seductive way, but to push him back and take the lead.

BEN LYNCH: I guess we’ll just have to prove who we are… by fighting it!

WHIP PAN. CLOSE UP on the MURDERCYCLE. It chimes aggressively.

WHIP PAN. CLOSE UP on BEN LYNCH. He thumbs at his nose.

WHIP PAN. CLOSE UP on BLAZE CLAYMORE. He sneezes.

AERIAL SHOT. We see BEN and the MURDER CYCLE circling each other, sizing each other up until BLAZE steps forward and hunches down in a fighting sequence.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: Come on now! We’re a team now and we fight together. We’re BLAZE and BEN! Like DEADPOOL and WOLVERINE. SAM and FRODO. TANGO and CASH. DOM and BRIAN. TURNER and HOOCH.

BEN LYNCH: Okay. FINE. But I get to be Hooch.

BEN and BLAZE begin to flank the MURDERCYCLE, ready to attack, until.

WIDE SHOT.

We see the MURDERCYCLE and hear it chime one last time. DING. Before a pause – and eerie silence - until the entire area is flooded with the sound of ominous bicycle bells!

The wave of sound percurses another MURDERCYCLE rolling into frame. Then another. And another. And another until sets of duos, trios, and quatros of MURDERCYCLES arrive.

MEDIUM SHOT.

BEN and BLAZE turn white as a sheet as the MURDERCYLES all chime at once, signaling their war cry as they begin to approach with surprising speed on the two fighters.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: Oh shit! These toys didn’t come to play, BEN!

BLAZE looks around for his new partner.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: BEN!? BEN!!

We follow Blaze’s gaze to see that BEN LYNCH is viciously slapping away at the handlebars of multiple MURDERCYCLES as they roll their wheels up his legs and torso, pummeling him with treaded rubber.

BLAZE dashes forward but BEN holds out his hand in protest.

BEN LYNCH: No! BLAZE! Save yourself! You have so much to live for compared to me!

BLAZE CLAYMORE: That’s not true! You’ve got…

BLAZE stops to ponder as BEN continues to be swallowed alive by a swarm of MURDERCYCLES.

BEN LYNCH: KIDS! I have KIDS you– AGH-

BLAZE CLAYMORE: No need to brag about your sex life, BEN! Can’t you see you’re in danger!

BEN LYNCH: KEEP AW– ROM- IDS.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: Don’t worry, Ben, I’ll make sure to take care of your kids for you! Just don’t turn into Tetsuo the Iron Man or Testuso from Akira or anything and destroy the world, OKAY!

An arm and giant middle finger reaches up from the mass of MURDERCYCLES as BLAZE salutes back and immediately takes off running toward the Tokyo Dome.

The camera cranes upward, lifting above a scene like a zombie film as BLAZE rushes away from the mass of rubber, metal, and flesh.

CUT. TRACKING SHOT. EXT. TOKYO DOME.

The camera points up towards BLAZE CLAYMORE. TILTING and tracking from behind as he holds his arm loosely at the side, staggering through a mix of delirium, pain, and exhaustion.

Off in the horizon, BLAZE catches eyes on the ferris wheel just outside of the Tokyo Dome and begins to weep openly.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: I made it! I made it!

Using every last ounce of energy, BLAZE rushes forward, until he encounters the security gates. He reaches through the bars, trying not to spur a PTSD flashback from prison, as the sun rises in the distance.

CLOSE UP.

We see BLAZE’s eyes illuminated by the rising sun as he looks into the distance at the Tokyo Dome, just in time to see the arena’s digital signage kick back on… and just in time to see the smiling face of Cancer Jiles under the headline “MANHUNT WINNER”.

BLAZE screams in anger as he falls to his knees and begins to smash the concrete with his fists.

BLAZE CLAYMORE: YOU MANIACS! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! GODDAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!

DRONE SHOT. We pull back, away from the scene, leaving a grieving BLAZE CLAYMORE at the gates of the Tokyo Dome, sobbing for all that he’s lost on his journey. We continue to pull up and out… above the Tokyo skyline, above the country of Japan, and above the planet Earth before we CUT to BLACK over a sweeping score produced by AI from the catalogue of Hans Zimmer and John Williams. FIN. ROLE CREDITS.