I eat bald pieces of shit like you for breakfast you bald piece of dog shit

Hey Baldy.

Allow me to reintroduce myself my name is

M to the Izzy I, G to the izz-uel.

What's your name?

Oh, that's right.

Nobody gives a shit.

See, when a man like me walks into a room with a head of luscious hair and a nice little widows peak on my forehead (bc yo widowed grandmama DO in fact be peakin at ya boy), everybody pays attention. Everybody says, 'Look at that guy's beautiful fucking hair. I simply MUST know his name.'

You walk into a room? Everybody gets sick to their stomach and throws up and barfs all over their dicks and balls and/or tits and coocoos, because bald people are totally disgusting to look at.

It's one thing if you have chemotherapy and its eating you alive and taking your hair.

But genetics took your hair, pussy.

And me? Im taking the rest of ya.

See I look around at the world and I see a world full of men with bad genetics, a world full of men who are taking all kinds of supplements to fix their shitty fucking bald head, meanwhile, take a look at women's health care.

You wouldn't last a day as a woman you sorry son of a bitch.

You wouldn't last one fucking day.

And guess what?

Now you won't have to last one fucking day.

ReVival 80.

Puerto motherfucking Rico.

A place, much like the continental United States, where bald men are despised.

Ever seen a bald Puerto Rican, Harrison, you sorry fuck?

I didn't think so.

You can't see anything.

You can't see, you can't sleep, you can't eat -- you just obsess over the fact that you are in fact the baldest and thereby the most disgusting motherfucker I've ever seen, and you can't let go of it. You keep thinking about the way I snicker every time you pass me in the arena, worrying that I'm whispering about how bald you are, because you're such a narcissistic piece of shit you can't imagine a world where everyone isn't whispering and laughing about you and your ugly, bald, weirdly-shaped head.

And in this case, you're exactly right.

WHY, STEVE???

WHY IS YOUR HEAD SHAPED LIKE A PIGS FAT ASSHOLE???

YIU HAVE A FAT PIG ASSHOLE HEAD, STEVE!!!

FIX YOUR FUCKED UP HEAD, STEVE!!!

Fuckin walnut head ass.

Pissin me off.

Newsflash, Steve.

I'm going to try my absolute best

Not to throw up all over the ring

When I grab your disgusting bald head

And put that bitch in a headlock.

But I ain't making no promises.

You disgust me, Steve.

You disgust everyone.

Retire and hide your scalp from the public.

Or will your sociopathic, bald-headed narcissism prevent you from doing the right thing?