Space sucks and is lame and Neil DeGrasse Tyson can suck it 💯

Ever since I was a young boy, just trying to make a buck in this fucking world...

I have absolutely despised astronomy.

When I was a kid, no older than four years old, and I'd be in the backseat at night while my mom drove around looking for my homewrecking, no-good daddy, I'd look out the window at that dark tapestry of twinkling stars and that big ol' fat moon, and I'd think to myself, 'Wow, look at all that lame ass, uninteresting shit out there. I can't think of anything more lame or less interesting than all that shit. I'd rather watch paint dry on my big ass dick, than even spend one more second thinking about all that stupid fucking shit out there in outerspace.'

Now lo and behold, who does Lindsay Troy book me against at ReV?

A fucking space enthusiast.

By the name of Bobby Neptune.

Well let me be the first to congratulate you on being enthusiastic about the dumbest shit imaginable.

There's real human beings starving to death, and you have the audacity to be 'interested' in fucking Saturn's rings?

Fuck you, you selfish piece of shit.

We've got ice caps melting, but hey, look at Mars.

You fucking suck, pal.

And come ReV in Mehico, brother lemme tell you something.

Theres gonna be a black hole.

And my size thirteen boot is gonna be shoved thoroughly inside of it.

Care to guess where that Black hole will be located?

Well

If you guessed in the middle of the god damn ring at ReVival with two buttcheeks spread out around it because its your butthole with my boot shoved in it, congratulations, you win a prize!

What's the prize, you ask?

It's your butthole, with my boot shoved in it.

Duh.

God damn it im just so irrationally mad at the idea that anyone would be fascinated with outer space that I just punched myself in my own balls, God damn it.

Thats how fucking much I hate you, and how much I hate space.

Go fuck yourself, Bobby.

Do it in outerspace for all I give a fuck.

Even though thats the lamest place you could fuck yourself.

But hey you're enthusiastic about it.

Dumb ass.

Fuck you.