Act 1: Climate Change: Jack Marley, The Protector

Clownfish: The Coral Protector.

Mon.

Mon.

Mon.

I sometimes buy into the joke that people have made me into.

You know…I ain’t dumb.

Aren’t?

Isn’t?

Sure, the weed can cloud my mind, but what it brings is such colorfully wonderful thoughts. I have an ability to conjure such magics that I transcend the limits people have put on me.

You can’t control me!

I can fly, mon.

JD always says this isn’t my job.

Pfft, what would he know, right?

A lot.

I might not be blood like him, but I know Steve better than everyone else in this family. I have been looking out for him since 2010. All JD did was train him and let him out into the wild.

That’s why for everything Steve has done for me I have and will always watch his back.

I am the bodyguard.

I am the PROTECTOR!

The fact The Octopus cannot admit the importance of my job can make a reggae boy sad. Or maybe it is the lack of respect my best friend for over twenty-five years gave me when we crossed paths at New Years.

I don’t know when Rico began to think he was better than ME but he, like everyone else will have to admit the value of Jack Marley…eventually.

Yea, some day.

Soon?

Or let’s be honest: never.

They call me Sherlock Tokes for a reason, mon.

Sherlock Holmskunk other days.

And Sherlock Bluntmes when I am feeling freaky.

Nobody has ever said those words.

When he got up to go visit Rebecca Hines, I rolled a blunt so tight my eyes began to bulge out like I was Roger Rasta, now I just needed to find my Jessica and we can like…lick weed off each other’s stomachs.

Anyway…where were we?

Oh yea, mon…something was afoot.

I followed twenty feet behind the best boss ever. I hugged the wall just in case he turned and I had to…um…turn into a wall?

So close.

I mean with enough Mary Jane in your system you can literally become what you touch, mon.

Lively up yourself and don't be no drag!

I peered into the room and saw The Suplex Saint holding Rebecca’s hand and whispering to her.

If only I could read lips like I can read the curves of a cannabis plant. Unfortunately, I had not unlocked that skill yet, something about not having consumed enough seeds.

That wasn’t the point though.

I was there to make sure he was allowed to have his time without interference. You never know when someone might break into Octopus HQ and if that happened, I would be there to poke them in the eye with the burning end of my blunt.

Not to mention these damn biceps that could put a dent in a soda can.

A SODA CAN.

A DENT!

Congrats, five-year-old girl?

I am a walking weapon, mon.

These classic KangaROOS don’t just have a hiding pocket for some weed they also can kick some major ass!

“What are you doing?”

I froze up. I knew that voice. I turned slowly and saw HER staring at me. Her arms were crossed across her chest and whatever friendliness she had shown during dinner was gone. I bowed to her because well…yea mon, she the queen, “Oh, the esteemed Marine Biologist, how are you?”

“You can stop bowing you moron,” she groaned, “I asked what you are doing, Jack. It looks to me like you are being creepy and trying to involve yourself in someone else’s private moments.” moments.

I gulped.

I really didn’t want to lift my head, mon.

But I really didn’t want to look her in the eyes.

MEDUSA!

First time you haven’t wanted to be stoned.

“Uh…no, you know, I’m just doing my job.”

Suddenly I felt her hand on my chin. She raised my head and looked me in the eyes. I couldn’t help but look directly into her eyes and I was ganjamerized, “It is your job to make sure our reef is not bleached.”

Then what?

I don’t remember.

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