Hold It Together

I sat there in the computer chair, my eyes locked on my laptop. The clip played through, finished ‘n I tapped on ‘Play Again?’. Probably watched the damn thing five times already. ReVival 7. Jared Sykes. Coral Avalon. Ria Lockhart. Or King Blueberry, Baron Von Blackberry ‘n Ria Nightshade. Melvin's office. Payback.

“You know we're the only one left now.”

The words from Greenshade caused a certain tightness in my chest. Jared’s been gone, livin’ in his happily ever after. Coral is off to do somethin’ similar, free from the obligations of bein’ on toppa PRIME. The video drew to the point where Sykes ‘n Avalon reminisced about Seymour Almasy, or Sultan Strawberry.

“I never knew him. Never met him. Kinda wish I had, though.”

Lockhart’s words carried a tinge of melancholy to ‘em. I get it, since that's kinda the part we align on most; empathy. From all accounts, Almasy was a good dude. I don't fully know his history ‘n I dunno that I wanna go diggin' any further. My fuckin’ plate is full as is. Manhunt. A chance to rocket on up to a Universal Title shot. A chance to go face to face with either Ivan Stanislav or Cecilworth Farthington.

My piece of our mind drifts back to Avalon and Sykes, leadin’ me to thinka even more people that won't be in the match. Youngblood has kinda been MIA. Don Winters? Gone after his loss to Cancer Jiles. Dunno if anyone saw it comin', but suddenly a vacuum had kinda opened up near the toppa PRIME. Nate Colton was still there. The Anglo Luchador has beef with both Ivan and Cecilworth. I ain't the only one lookin' to come out on top.

“This is our chance! Smash everyone. Win the match. Fuck the rest.”

I pushed Blackshade’s snarling words in my head aside. Yeah, I wanna win. Yeah, I'm probly gonna get a bit violent to do so. But I ain't gonna cause anyone undue pain. Ain't my style. If I'm comin' after ya, there's a reason. The Red Army? Any Whoresmen? Yeah, they can catch these hands. They've more than earned ‘em. Hell, I'll fuck up a Bandit too, if I gotta. But focus has to be a big thing, which is already a bit of a struggle for me.

The video plays further. I can't help but chuckle watchin’ Nightshade stab Sykes in the ass with the lockpick. Bet that shit hurt, but probly left no permanent damage. Doubt she really wanted to do anythin' that would, if I had to guess.

“Not sure that was necessary.” I mused.

“Yeah, well, he was babbling bout feelings and stuff. I didn't wanna confront that shit at the time.” Greenshade commented. “And look what fucking good that did. I still ended up caring about him. About TAL. Timo. Cally. Anna. I tried not to let that shit happen and it still did.”

The more I got to know Greenshade, the more I liked her. Yeah, she can be snarky ‘n over the top. She can be petty ‘n violent. But she got quite the heart underneath all that. Her and Blackshade? They look similar, but they ain't the same. That bitch is just negativity 24/7. At least Greenshade knew how to have fun. As the clip played to its end once more, I clicked the button again.

“For fucks sake, how many times are you going to watch this bullshit?” Blackshade snarled, proving my point.

“It's not like you belong anyway.” The RiIP droned out. “You're not a berry or whatever.”

She had a point. I didn't know one of the guys and neither of the other two had ever given me any kinda official blessin’. Hell, Coral and I barely ever spoke. Lockhart said he had been courteous towards her when she debuted in Bang! years ago, introducin’ himself and tellin' her to come to him if she needed anythin'. She never bothered takin' him up on that. Too shy, too reserved. She did watch him close on that tour, though. I only knew the guy as one-a the best wrestlers in the world.

“Maybe I'm not a legit berry. But Imma do what I can to carry that mantle forward.” I told the stupid spoiled bitch. “It matters to me. Maybe that ain't enough, maybe that'd just piss both guys off. But I think my heart's in the right place. That's gotta count for somethin'.”

I don't think Greenshade had meant we were the only berry left when she had made her statement a few minutes ago. That's how I took it, though. A legacy. Might be a goofy one. Might be one few people would care to have. Really ain't even mine to carry forward. But when I watch this clip? When I see those two with us? When I hear Almasy brought into the conversation? I want to. I wanna push forward as a fifth berry. Can't forget Justine Calvin. Maybe there were even more I didn't know. Doesn't matter. I will survive.

“This Manhunt match… It's gonna be a huge challenge, you know? We're already gonna be in bad shape from the Fred Dick match. Doubt many people are gonna be betting on you.”

I didn't like when Lockhart was right bout shit like this. That was why I had put this clip on in the first place. Had to take my mind offa Fred for a bit. But there ain't no rest for me on Culture Shock. If I wasn't thinkin' bout the Dickless Wonder, I was thinkin' bout the Manhunt match. Back ‘n forth. If it weren't for my phone calls with Angel, I mighta already lost my shit at some point before the event. She was my rock. I kinda worry sometimes that I don't deserve her, that I throw too mucha my shit onto her plate when that thing’s already got plenty piled onto it. But I know she'd be hurt and probly pissed if I didn't share my problems.

I can hear the door to the hotel room jostle before opening. Kohime Mori stepped in shortly after. Though ‘Hime had been spending mosta her time with Nate lately, she'd taken time to hang with me on the trip around Japan. We even got a double room together. I didn't care if she came ‘n went, I just wanted her company for a bit.

“Hey ‘Hime!” I beamed at her. She had some grocery bags in her hands.

“Hey Miss Ria!” She replied with a grin before trottin’ off to the kitchen. “I got stuff to make us some ramen later. We can just eat, watch some TV and relax!”

I always appreciate the way Kohime looked out for me. She knew I was stressed lately. A chill dinner sounded perfect right now. I'm not always the best at managin’ my stress levels. Or takin' care of my own health. Bad habit of bein' too goal focused and carin’ too much bout others. Don't usually put myself first often enough. Angel tells me that all the time.

“She's distracting us.” I could hear Blackshade growl. “We should be focused on our matches, not worrying about some fucking date night.”

I wanted to tell the dumb bitch to shut up. ‘Hime was doing something nice for us. This was helpin’. I could hear the rustlin’ of the heavy plastic from the reusable bags Kohime had taken out to shop with. Probly puttin' stuff away or organizin’ it. The kitchenette we had attached to our room wasn't anythin' special, but it had enough to make small meals.

“We got plenty of time to worry about fucking people up in the Manhunt. Fred's already dead. We can take a damn night to chill.”

Again, perfect comparison between the two Nightshades. Blackshade sucks, Greenshade is kinda cool. Though I gotta give this to Blackshade; that bitch is like a Terminator. She ain't gonna stay down if she can help it and she's gonna do her best to show you can't hurt her. Damn near a slasher monster.

“Miss Ria… Are you okay?”

The words from ‘Hime pull me outta my thoughts. The look on her face is pretty concerned. Dunno why she's so worried. Yeah, I'm worn out, physically ‘n mentally. I dunno if ever did fully heal up from gettin' the shit kicked outta me before gettin' tossed through that window. Yeah, I've been strugglin’ a bit keepin’ it together on Jabber when the various pieces-a shit put their garbage out there. But I'm fine. Fine enough, anyway.

“I'm fine, ‘Hime! Lookin' forward to the food in a bit.”

It might not ease her mind much, but I had to tell her somethin’ positive. I never like worryin' Kohime. She's such a gentle soul and it honestly don't take much to get her worked up. Maybe I wasn't bein' totally honest, but this ain't the time for it.

“You really think she believes that?”

The words from Lockhart bugged me. The fact that Kohime’s face seemed to drop even more after my words bugged me. I guess I had to lay it on a bit thicker.

“Really, ‘Hime. I'm good! I'm a bit banged up, but I just gotta get through Culture Shock. Things’ll be fine after that. I promise.”

She was still gazin’ at me. Why? I get that she's worried, but shit… Almost looked like she was studyin’ me or some shit.

“Okay…”

She said okay, but her body language? That look on her face? She didn't believe me. ‘Hime sucks at hidin' her emotions. I guess on top of winnin’ the Manhunt for my Berry Brothers, for my rainbow community and even for myself… I had to try ‘n stay safe for Kohime's sake. Gonna be a rough two nights for me. But I'm bout to show Japan and PRIME as a whole…

I may not be the best fuckin' wrestler in the world, but I'm sure as shit one-a the toughest!

Noodles. Chicken broth. Soy sauce. Miso paste. Chicken. Seaweed. Green onions. Eggs. That was my shopping list when I left for the store. Miss Ria and I had not had a cozy dinner in a while. The few we had, we usually ordered out. Pizza, Chinese, whatever fast food we may have been in the mood for at the time. This ramen had to be perfect. I know I should really make the noodles myself, but the kitchen in our hotel had limited space. I also did not feel like cleaning up the mess after and I knew Miss Ria may not end up getting around to it.

I spend most of my time with Nate nowadays. I did not expect things to go this way. After Morty, I was cautious. I never did fully process how I felt about him. Was it love? Was it just very strong friendship? I guess it no longer matters. I saw what the Glue Guys had said they did to him. I do not think they actually killed him. That would be a crime and I have seen them say they do not do crimes. Anyway, Nate makes me feel different than Morty did. Morty felt like he was trying to be better, even if he didn't believe he was.

Nate, he is good. I know he worries about the times he does something bad, but the fact that he feels bad says it all. He is a good person. He treats me well, not because he is obligated, but because he wants to. I love him. I love his family. I cherish our time together. Also, he is very dreamy so I get to look at him without being too awkward about it. I also get to do other things with him that I would rather not discuss with others.

After I checked out, I started my walk back to the hotel room I shared with Miss Ria. I wonder what movie she would like to watch? I think I want to watch Kiki’s Delivery Service. It has been awhile since I have seen it and I think it would be nice to watch it with Miss Ria. She has had it rough since PRIME started back up after the Christmas break. I do not like the Promiscuous People, even if Miss Anna has always been nice to me. What they have done to Miss Ria is inexcusable. RAIKO-sensei told me that people like this only understand violence and that Miss Ria must show them her righteous vengeance. I do not really agree, but I am not one to argue with my sensei.

As I drew near the door to our hotel room, I could hear noise inside. I think Miss Ria may have been watching some kind of video. But it sounded like she may be talking to someone as well. Did she invite company over? If so, I hope they do not stay long. I did not get enough ramen for three people! I do not want to embarrass us in such a way. I carefully opened the door. I only saw Miss Ria, so maybe I was mistaken?

“Hey ‘Hime!”

Miss Ria seemed to be in good spirits. It was nice to see. It made it easier for me to smile myself.

“Hey Miss Ria! I got stuff to make us some ramen later. We can just eat, watch some TV and relax!”

I made my way to the kitchen as I spoke to her. I felt the happiness spread throughout my body as I began to pull the items out of my bags. I always bring bags with me. It saves using plastic bags that are bad for the environment. I also personally think it is good manners towards the businesses I visit.

“She's distracting us. We should be focused on our matches, not worrying about some fucking date night.”

I paused. What did Miss Ria say? Was that directed towards me? Why would she say such a thing? She seemed excited when I first came in. Was she mad at me? I just wanted to help her, not distract her…

“Shut up, you dumb bitch. ‘Hime is doing something nice for us. This is helpin’.”

I tried to keep myself busy, to seem like I was not listening. I did not know how to handle this. Miss Ria did seem to be talking to someone… Herself. I am not a trained professional. I do not know how to handle this situation! Maybe I should just continue with my plan. It had to be stress, right? This had to be why she was acting this way. What other explanation could there be?

“We got plenty of time to worry about fucking people up in the Manhunt. Fred's already dead. We can take a damn night to chill.”

It was not just the conversation that worried me. It was that it seemed like it was almost three people talking. The first voice was gravely, angry. I could feel the rage in my ears. The second voice was the Miss Ria I was used to; soft, with that unique accent that gave it the tiniest bit of an edge. The third voice was similar to the first, but with a bit more playfulness to it. Regardless, having a conversation with yourself using three different voices was not healthy. I can tell you that even without a license! I had to say something.

“Miss Ria… Are you okay?”

I had no idea if she would be honest with me. Any answer that was not no had to be a lie of some sort. I know she worried about me. Even when she encouraged Nate and I to start dating, she had told me to take it slow and be careful. She was a good person. She was a good friend. I wanted to take care of her the way she had done for me.

“I'm fine, ‘Hime! Lookin' forward to the food in a bit.”

That was a lie. Well, maybe not the part about the food. Miss Ria did always enjoy my cooking. Fine? She was not fine. She was not okay. She needed help. But how could I convince her of that? That had to be the way it went. I could not force her to get it.

“You really think she believes that?”

Cheese and crackers, another voice?! At least this one wasn't as scary as those other two. It sounded more like Miss Ria, but… She sounded sad? Like she needed a hug? Even if her tone was more gentle, this was still worrying. I do not think I did a good job hiding my anxiety from the way Miss Ria looked at me.

“Really, ‘Hime. I'm good! I'm a bit banged up, but I just gotta get through Culture Shock. Things’ll be fine after that. I promise.”

She was digging the hole deeper. The lie hole. I did not want to get stuck in the lie hole. I am not a very good climber. That is why I do not go to the top rope often when I am wrestling. Anyway, I want Miss Ria to be honest. If she is honest, then maybe I can help. Even if I cannot, maybe I can guide her to someone who can? I just want her to truly be okay and not just say she is for my benefit.

“Okay…”

Great, now I was lying too. I was contributing to the lie hole! I suppose I had no choice. I can only be supportive towards Miss Ria. I can only hope doing so will lead her to speak with me honestly when she is ready. But a small part of me worries; what if she does not and it ends up being too late? What if something terrible happens before she can? I do not want to think like this, but everything that just happened… I know she is strong, so I should be strong for her. I just hope it is enough.

Manhunt. The fuck is that?! It's like the Murder Rumble, but it's one big prolonged murder instead several smaller murders buildin’ to a final one. Won't lie, under normal circumstances, I'd like our chances. It kinda plays to our strengths. But shit, I ain't gonna be 100%. I might not even be 50%. That's fine. Ain't gonna stop us from givin' what we got left!

We don't even know what pieces of trash we'll have to share this match with. Rainbow may want to treat people like her friends, but that's bullshit. This is survival. This is war. We have to be the fiercest, angriest, most rabid dog in the junkyard if we're going to pull this off. We can't rely on anyone but ourselves. We will bring the violence and there will be no quarter given.

It's a fustercluck. But man, does it sound fun! You wanna hunt us? Heh. Please do! We welcome the challenge. Fair warning, though; you may just find our touch poisonous! So again, if you're willing to take that risk, step on up. We ain't gonna go down without a fight. There's too much at stake. Eyes on the prize. Keep your heads up or we'll take ‘em off!

Just… Ew. Like, listen, We're totally used to being the center of attention. Have you seen us? We're super hot. So all that bois and girlies that want a piece? Get in line. And if you do happen to get the pleasure of one on one time with us, don't waste our time. If you're not worth it, and real talk, most of you aren't, we will chew you up and spit you out. We deserve gold. So if we have to take it from the other drooling morons, consider it done. Ciao, bitches.

Opportunity of a lifetime. Can we win? Will we have enough left in the tank to pull through? I have faith in us. There's a reason I left Rainbow in charge; I believe in her. I believe in us. FLAMBERGE. Hanlon. Colton. These were some of the guys hailed as the future of PRIME. We were rarely included in that conversation. This match is our chance to change that. Future of PRIME? No thank you. We'd rather be the present. Good luck to all in the match. You're gonna get our best.

Banana.